**The following article is being shared with permission from social worker Gary Direnfeld of Interaction Consultants, a strength-guided, goal-oriented approach to the positive growth and development of people.

Some Frustration is Necessary!

When the infant cries, the infant is fed. Almost immediate gratification. However, when the child is a preschooler and tells us he or she is hungry, we may ask the child to wait until supper, or offer a small snack to tide them over.  Gratification is delayed or only partially appeased. Thus children learn they can wait to achieve desired goals and learn to endure frustration when efforts towards gratification are thwarted.  Together, these life skills are referred to as the ability to delay gratification and tolerate frustration.

Children who can delay gratification and tolerate frustration learn the world does not revolve around them and that their needs and wants may be met in the context of other people and competing demands.

Things go awry when for some children their whining or tantrumming gains them the desired outcome on an ongoing basis or when caregivers are so attentive to their needs they are met too frequently and without delay. These children don’t quite learn to delay gratification or tolerate frustration. These children grow to become self-centered and demanding. They believe the world revolves around them and other persons are there to serve them.

When children who are self-centered age, the problem intensifies. As adults entering into intimate relationships, they are at risk of undermining their relationships by an uncompromising belief that they should still always have their own way. Such persons do not learn to compromise or set priorities that take into account the needs and wants of others. Their strategies for achieving their own ends can vary from demanding or manipulative behavior to outright abusive behavior.

Vocationally, these adults may believe they should receive special treatment or not have to work as hard or believe that job advancement should come without being earned. There is a sense of entitlement that also can undermine work life when those beliefs bring them into conflict with employers whose expectations differ.

Children who continually get their own way and whine or tantrum are generally referred to as spoiled. Adults who continually seek to get their own way and who put their needs frequently ahead of others, are referred to as egocentric or worse, narcissistic.

Such adults may not only place their needs and wants above others and have a sense of entitlement, but also have difficulty appreciating the position, needs and wants of others. In other words, they lack empathy; an ability to connect emotionally to the concerns of others with the view that the other’s needs and wants should be taken into consideration.

Reversing these traits can be difficult and in some cases near impossible once an adult. Hence it is vital for parents to appreciate the need for children to develop frustration tolerance and learn to delay gratification. That means we do not spoil children nor give in to whining and tantrumming  behavior.

It is OK for children to learn the world does not revolve around them, that they must take turns, share, wait for dinner and do things for others. This of course does not mean to say we neglect or indiscriminately withhold meeting our children’s needs. Rather, parents must meet their children’s needs with sensitivity to others and with the view that no harm comes from not always getting one’s way. Children who learn to delay gratification and tolerate frustration tend to be more patient, are able to set longer-term goals and are more in tune to the needs of others – All necessary skills for success in school, work, love and life. Please visit http://www.yoursocialworker.com for additional articles by Gary Direnfeld, MSW.

Community Resource Review

This month, I would like to highlight another social service organization that might be of interest to Pritchett families: Northshore Wellness Services Ltd. is located at 3000 Dundee Rd. Suite 411-412 in Northbrook.

Northshore Wellness Services is comprised of a team of licensed and certified counseling and wellness professionals committed to providing high quality support services to individuals and families.  The practice offers a variety of marriage and parenting classes, support groups, and counseling for children and adults. Northshore Wellness’ therapists recognize that childhood and adolescence are very important developmental stages, each with their own stressors and issues. Visit the website at www.northshorewellness.com for further information about services and clinicians. Or, call (847) 205-0371 and ask for Executive Director Dr. Victoria Fleming. Ph.D., LCPC.

As always, please contact me with any questions or concerns related to your child’s social-emotional functioning or the content of the School Social Worker’s Scoop. I can be reached at (847) 353 5723 or fgoldwin@d102.org

Beth Dostral of Dostal Consulting, LLC provides an array of services to meet the needs of parents, teachers and children throughout the North and Northwest suburbs. Whether you are a parent looking for help in getting your child up and out on time in the morning, a teacher who wants an easier way to manage discipline in the classroom, or know a child who needs assistance making and keeping friends, Dostal Consulting offers the solutions you need. Dostal Consulting, LLC launched a new program in February, in partnership with Therapediatrics, LLC.

FACES is a group promoting Friendship skills, Adaptive behaviors, Communication Skills, and Emotional regulation. Session 2 will take place on Mondays in April during after-school hours. This group is targeted to help children who struggle reading social cues, need more practice interacting socially with peers, have challenges maintaining conversations with peers or difficulty initiating play with others. These lively one-hour groups are packed with developmentally appropriate activities, lessons, games and video clips all aimed at increasing participants’ competence in social situations. Parents will receive a weekly handout summarizing the goals and activities for the day as well as short assignments to help reinforce the skills at home. At the conclusion of the 4 week session, parents will receive a brief feedback form highlighting child’s progress. FACES groups will be small (maximum of 5-6 children) and will be held at Therapediatrics, LLC in Vernon Hills.

Beth Dostal is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Family Therapist with experience in school, community and private settings. Feel free to contact her at (847) 687- 3783 or dostalconsulting@gmail.com if you have any questions about the FACES group or other services she provides. To register for FACES, call Therapediatrics at (847) 996 – 6666.

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The Habit of Helpfulness

I think it’s safe to assume that most parents of children over the age of 2 would be thrilled to build their child’s cooperation on household chores.  Helping Hands and Smiling Faces – A Practical Guide for Parent by John Taylor, Ph.D., provides several suggestions on developing children’s sense of responsibility with at-home routines, ultimately making helpfulness a natural habit performed daily. I would agree that some days, it seems easier and a more efficient use of time to just tackle chores on our own. However, in his handbook, Dr. Taylor points out that by having children become involved in household chores at an early age, they will begin to learn self-discipline, neatness, recognition of “quality work”, the importance of thinking about others, and the basic aspects of team work. A child’s self-concept will benefit when they routinely take part in household responsibilities, as a by-product of their experiences of accomplishing goals, acquiring new skills, and contributing to a group effort. As I have come to realize with my own daughter, young children often do not recognize the difference between a chore and playing, especially when chores are completed alongside a parent or sibling.  So, it’s never too early to begin to include your child in household tasks. So, how can we as parents help develop the habit of helpfulness?

1)             Your attitude is important. Dr. Taylor suggests putting “as much joy, enthusiasm and vigor” into household work as you can, “without being phony.”  Try to think about doing chores yourself and including your child in such tasks as an opportunity to teach him or her skills for successful living.  Empower your child to believe he or she is capable and that chores are not always boring and dreadful.  Try to avoid thinking “this day is awful because of all the chores that need to be completed” and instead approach the day as one that “is going to be good in spite of chores and responsibilities that need to be addressed.”

2)             Develop routines and systems: Children (and adults too!) are more likely to be resistant to tasks that are daunting and unexpected, and are more likely to cooperate happily when household chores are a natural and expected part of the daily routine.  Along these lines, try to make both work time and playtime predictable and consistent; if possible, it can help to set aside a specific maximum length of time for certain chores to allow your child to feel they are manageable and there will still be time for preferred activities.

3)             Whenever possible, keep work before play. If this is followed, your child will eventually realize that delaying the chores leads to less time remaining for their preferred, fun play activity.  Also, emphasize that work quality is key to moving on to play; if the chore is not done well enough, the time spent re-doing it can interfere with the play activity of choice.  Playtime can be fully enjoyed without the dread of what is to come.  Popular times of day for chores include after breakfast, right after school, or between dinner and bedtime.

4)             Think outside the box.  School-aged children can help with a wide range of chores and simple clean-up tasks.  Each family members’ daily routine can include tidying up the bathroom by hanging up towels and washcloths, wiping up toothpaste the spills on the counter or in the sink, and putting away hair and mouth care items after use. It’s not too much to ask for your child (or spouse!) to pick things off their bedroom floor and close all drawers and doors.  There are countless mealtime chores that can be completed by even the youngest toddlers.  And, transferring trash from bathrooms and bedrooms to a larger can is not something that must be left to the adults!

5)             Consider creating an easy to follow and motivating job chart. A visual chart can put everybody at ease by adding a sense of order and reducing the need for excessive verbal instructions/reminders as to which chores need to be completed.  Be sure to clearly note a simple description for each task. Also, all family members should understand the method for marking completion (stickers or colorful markers are great), basic standards for monitoring chore performance, and whether or not points or rewards will be provided for responsible completion of assigned household chores.  For samples, please visit http://www.schoolfamily.com/print-and-use-tools or http://www.freeprintablebehaviorcharts.com/daily%20routines.htm

6)             Spice things up by adding an element of fun. A few weekend days a month, try the “Choo-choo train system.” Dr. Taylor describes this as a group cleaning activity where everybody enters a room together in a conga-line of sorts and each person breaks from the line to tackle a specific part of the room. The whole room is improved within a few minutes. Then, the train cars join together again so the train can proceed to the next “station” (room). When all stops along the train route have been visited, the family completes the ride by stopping at the “train depot” for refreshments. Another clever idea shared by a reader of Family Fun magazine is to play a game of flashlight tag.  Turn of the lights in your child’s bedroom, and use a bright flashlight to identify items that need to be put away. Quickly move on to other items or areas that need to be straightened.

While I do not have a magic wand to make the process go smoothly, I am confident that each of us can do our part to help develop a habit of helpfulness in each of our children.

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As always, please contact me with any questions or concerns related to your child’s social-emotional functioning or related to the content of the School Social Worker’s Scoop. I can be reached at (847) 353 5723 or fgoldwin@d102.org

Community Resource Review

This month, I would like to highlight another social service organization that might be of interest to Pritchett families. Jewish Child & Family Services, JCFS, http://jcfs.org/ has a long-standing history of providing comprehensive support services to families in need of caring, healing services. JCFS helps guide individuals from “crisis to calm, from anguish to awareness, and from isolation to support.”  JCFS offerings include adult, child, and family therapy, bereavement programs, parent education and support group, early childhood mental health services, support for people with disabilities and their families, and financial counseling, among others.  JCFS professionals provide individualized care for children and their families regardless of religion, race, color, national origin, ability, gender, or sexual orientation. The JCFS website has a plethora of information further describing available services and includes links to several easy to follow guides on understanding common mental health disorders. http://www.jcfs.org/professional-resources/mental-health-tips-sheets  The Northwest Suburban Community Counseling Center, the JCFS office in closest proximity to the Pritchett School community, is located at 1156 W. Shure Dr., Suite 181, in Arlington Heights. The office phone # is 847 392 8820.

Avoiding Power Struggles 

As I was attempting to organize one of my overflowing bookshelves last week, I came upon several issues of Scholastic Parent and Child magazine from a few years ago.  An article written by Thomas J. Genzale in the February/March 2008 issue, highlights advice from behaviorist and author Lynn Reeves Griffin, R.N., Me.D. In the article and in her book, Negotiation Generation: Take Back Your Parental Authority Without Punishment, Griffin emphasizes the importance of recognizing predictable behaviors in our children as one component of successfully regaining positive parenting power. If you are able to predict situations where and when your child is going to have a difficult time behaviorally or emotionally, you will have more options for preventing struggles and will ultimately be more in control as a parent. The portion of this article that called out to me, as a school social worker and as a parent myself, fell within the sidebar labeled 5 Ways to Avoid Power Struggles.  I hope these ideas provide many of you with either (a) a supportive set of reminders to that which you have already been doing in your years of parenting or (b) an insightful set of fresh suggestions to enhance your positive parenting experiences:

1)    Know your non-negotiable rules. Set routines and stick with them. Know when bedtime, mealtime, homework completion time, and playtime will occur and show your child what they look like. Non-negotiable rules should remain non-negotiable. This doesn’t mean you are being “too strict” or that you are the “mean parent.”

2)    Know when to stop talking. If you’re in a power struggle and you’re talking, your child will think he or she can talk. If you have a side, they have a side. Stop talking. Not an easy one, I agree!

3)    Watch your language. When you do speak (which you should!), use language that is proactive, not reactive. Reactive language is negative – words like don’t, stop, cut it out,.  Such language is harsh and it invites more power struggles.

4)    Ensure your child is living a child-friendly lifestyle, not an adult lifestyle. That means paying attention to sleep and nutrition schedules.  Children will engage in power-struggles more when they are tired, hungry, and stressed.

5)    Look at yourself. Are there are lot of power struggles going on in general? Do you have a hard time maintaining your own calm and stress level?  If you don’t take care of yourself, protect your own downtime, and make sure that you are well-rested and well-fed, you’re going to be more reactive. Easier said than done, but a very important point to consider.

*****As always, please contact me with any questions or concerns related to your child’s social-emotional functioning or related to the content of the School Social Worker’s Scoop. I can be reached at (847) 353 5723 or fgoldwin@d102.org

Reasons to Get Involved: Why should your family lend a helping hand?
*It feels good. The satisfaction and pride that come from helping others are important reasons to volunteer. When you commit your time and effort to an organization or a cause you feel strongly about, the feeling of fulfillment can be endless.

*It strengthens your community. Organizations and agencies that use volunteers are providing important services at low or no cost to those who need them. When a community is doing well as a whole, its individuals are better off, too.

*It can strengthen your family. Volunteerism is a great way for families to have fun and feel closer. But many people say they don’t have the time to volunteer after fulfilling work and family commitments. If that’s the case, try rethinking some of your free time as a family. You could select just one or two projects a year and make them a family tradition (for example, making and donating gift baskets to care facilities for the elderly around the holidays).

What Kids Can Learn From Volunteering: If volunteering begins at an early age, it can become part of kids’ lives — something they might just expect and want to do. It can teach them:

*A sense of responsibility. By volunteering, kids and teens learn what it means to make and keep a commitment. They learn how to be on time for a job, do their best, and be proud of the results. But they also learn that, ultimately, we’re all responsible for the well-being of our communities.

*That one person can make a difference. A wonderful, empowering message for kids is that they’re important enough to have an impact on someone or something else.
*The benefit of sacrifice. By giving up a toy to a less fortunate child, a child learns that sometimes it’s good to sacrifice. Cutting back on recreation time to help clean up a beach tells kids that there are important things besides ourselves and our immediate needs.

*Tolerance. Working in community service can bring kids and teens in touch with people of different backgrounds, abilities, ethnicities, ages, and education and income levels. They’ll learn that even the most diverse individuals can be united by common values.

*Job skills. Community service can help young people decide on their future careers. Are they interested in the medical field? Hospitals and clinics often have teenage volunteer programs. Do they love politics? Kids can work on the real campaigns of local political candidates. Learning to work as a team member, taking on leadership roles, setting project goals — these are all skills that can be gained by volunteering and will serve kids well in any future career.

*How to fill idle time wisely. If kids aren’t involved in traditional after-school activities, community service can be a wonderful alternative.

Getting Your Family Involved: The Internet offers lots of sites with information about volunteer opportunities. You can also call a favorite charity, hospital, or church directly to see if they have any needs, or look up “Volunteerism” in the phone book in the Human Services section (often in the blue pages). Or contact a local volunteer clearinghouse, which matches up volunteers and community organizations and can help you find openings at nonprofit organizations in your area.

Be prepared to answer questions such as: What are your interests? What are your skills? Do you have any special needs? Do you have a method of transportation? How many hours a week do you have to volunteer? Why do you want to volunteer? You’ll probably be interviewed again once the clearinghouse matches you with an appropriate job. Some situations require more information. If you want to work with kids, for instance, you may have to undergo fingerprinting and a criminal background check.

Be sure to be just as thorough when you question the organizations. Find out exactly what’s expected of you before you accept the volunteer position. Be realistic and ask specific questions.

When looking for a volunteer position, remember that it may be difficult to find the perfect volunteer slot. Be flexible, and keep looking if the agency you were referred to doesn’t meet your needs. It may take a while to find a perfect fit, but once you do, it will be worth it. Once you do become involved, be responsible to those who depend on you. Be on time, dress appropriately, and let the volunteer coordinator know if you can’t make it.

Good Volunteer Jobs for Families and Kids: Families can do many volunteer jobs. Even the smallest child (with adult supervision) can pick up garbage at the park, playground, or beach. You don’t even have to be part of a big effort to do this. Get your family together, find some garbage bags, and head out. Or become involved in repair and renovation efforts for low-income residents. Younger kids might not be able to do the big jobs, but helping out by fetching a paintbrush or holding the nails involves them just the same. Work at a community food bank or soup kitchen as a family. Find an organization that serves the elderly. Take food to people who are homebound and visit with them. Your kids can brighten a lonely senior’s day instantly. Offer your family’s help at the local animal shelter. Help plant flowers or trees. The possibilities are endless. Whatever you choose to do, volunteering and community service can benefit both the community and your family. Get involved today! © 1995- 2011 . The Nemours Foundation/ KidsHealth®. Reprinted with permission. If you’d like additional suggestions about family-friendly volunteer opportunities in the Chicago area, please email me at fgoldwin@d102.org.

As always, please contact me with any questions or concerns related to your child’s social-emotional functioning or related to the content of the School Social Worker’s Scoop. I can be reached at (847) 353 5723 or fgoldwin@d102.org.  I hope that you all enjoy the holiday season and the well-deserved two weeks off later this month.

Tips for Coping with Childhood Stress

We all experience stress in our lives due to one thing or another.  Worrying about an upcoming test or about being in an unknown situation we are about to face is normal for children.  As adults, we attempt to help our children move past such worries by providing verbal reassurance and encouragement and by helping them to establish a positive sense of self throughout their life. While experiencing stress at any age is normal, what is not normal is when our fears and worries get in the way of everyday life functioning and distract an individual from being their best self.  Throughout the past year, I have shared various thoughts about how we can help children enhance their problem solving skills as well as their self-esteem.  This month, I’d like to supplement prior tips shared with all of you. I am hoping to pass along some suggestions – many taken from The Handbook for Helping Kids with Anxiety and Stress by Kim Frank – on helping children cope with common specific fears and work through stress in a calm, healthy manner.

(1)Positive self-talk: We can teach our children to be their own cheerleaders by helping them to identify uplifting phrases they can say or think to themselves during times of worry and self-doubt.  Simply by jotting own the words, “I can do it!” or, “I am a rock star!” on a 3×5 note-card and reminding our son or daughter to glance back at that card from time to time, we are teaching a skill for coping with worry and anxiety.

(2) Use Reassuring Acronyms: In his book, Winning Every Day, Lou Holtz talks about the acronym WIN. This stands for “What’s Important Now.”  When facing what they perceive to be overwhelming and time-consuming tasks, share the WIN acronym with your son or daughter; explain the importance of always giving our best effort while also remembering to take one strong step after another without expecting that we can do everything perfectly and at the same time. Another favorite reassuring acronym – specifically for dealing with test anxiety – is IOTA. (Think:  ”I just don’t give an IOTA about that!”) IOTA stands for, “It’s Only a Test Anyway.” While I am not suggesting that it’s okay for children to become careless about/disengaged towards tests, we can help put tests into proper perspective for children at a young age and remind them that their test performance is not going to significantly harm them or their academic career.  Have fun brainstorming additional creative acronyms as a form of reassurance and support for coping with common fears and stressors. (And, please share with me any new ones you develop!)

(3) Think of the brain as a television with 2 channels: Point out to your child that we all have the ability to consider situations in our lives as good or bad and that we are in control of how we assess situations. Kim Frank, Ed.S., LPC, suggests comparing the fact that our brain has different ways of thinking about challenges we face to the notion that a television has different pictures on each channel. Unless the remote control is lost in the couch cushions, we can always change the channel in our brain, i.e. how we perceive a situation.  Introduce the concepts of the “cloudy mind channel” where our brain looks at things in the worst way, letting little things bother us significantly and the “sunny mind channel” where we think clearly and don’t let difficult situations bother us in a way that can ruin our day. Without completely negating the thing that is causing them to worry, help your child practice reframing and rephrasing negative thoughts into positive, manageable ones.

(4) Develop a Chill Out Plan (C.O.P): Another popular strategy described by Kim Frank is to help children develop a list of safe, calm, and positive things to do when feelings of stress begin to overwhelm them. Help your son or daughter list out 3-5 ideas they can do to “chill” or feel relaxed when a sense of stress increases. Ideas include doing some form of exercise, taking a couple of slow and deep breaths, and taking a one-minute vacation where one silently imagines going on a trip to a calm and peaceful place.  Remind your child to refer to his or her C.O.P. when you sense she or he needs it and re-review the ideas with her or him when needed.

(5) Share Your Own Best Practices!: What else helps you return to a sense of calm when beginning to feel overcome by worry and stress? Do you close your eyes and count backwards from 10? Do you make a detailed list of the various to-dos on your mind and cross them out as you complete each one? Be honest with your kids and describe positive strategies that have worked for you over the years in handling stressors and worries in a productive way.

For further suggestions on helping children cope with anxiety and stress, feel free to contact me at Pritchett at (847) 353-5723. Also, if you have any questions or concerns otherwise related to your child’s social-emotional functioning or related to the content of the School Social Worker’s Scoop, please call me or  email me at fgoldwin@d102.org.   In addition, feel free to stop by during conferences at the end of the 1^st trimester on November 21 and 22.   I will be moving between some conferences on both days, but I will have time available for pre-scheduled appointments as well as for informal brainstorming and discussions. Until then, enjoy the crisp November air and have fun gearing up for the winter holidays!

Bullying Prevention in Illinois – Coalition Working to Implement Task Force’s Recommendations

Gov. Quinn signed the Illinois Prevent School Violence Act amendments just in time for the 2010-11 school year. Now, efforts are under way to implement the act’s important tenets, which include the first-ever definition of bullying in Illinois law, enumerated categories of students particularly vulnerable to bullying, and an expansion of the law’s reach to include private, non-religious schools. For a copy of the act, you can go to: http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/publicacts/96/PDF/096-0952.pdf

The act created the Illinois School Bullying Prevention Task Force to examine bullying and ways to effectively prevent it. For a copy of the recommendations, go to: http://www.isbe.net/SBPTF/pdf/sbptf_report_030111.pdf

The Prevent School Violence Illinois coalition, a group of organizations across the state committed to effective bullying prevention and intervention, has taken up the work of implementing the task force’s recommendations by raising awareness, connecting stakeholders, and providing expertise and resources. Drawing from the recommendations, the coalition recognizes:

* That bullying negatively affects every person within a school community and the climate of the school community itself;

* That bullying prevention is most effective when it accounts for the unique issues of a particular school community;

* That the impacts of systemic issues (e.g., racism, classism, religious bias, adultism, disability discrimination and homophobia) contribute to negative environments for youth and adults;

* That Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) is as important as math and English; and

* That overreliance on punitive school discipline detracts from a school community’s ability to provide optimal conditions for learning and development and must be replaced by restorative measures.

Source: Illinois State Superintendent’s Bulletin, Sept. 19, 2011

A Taste of Pritchett’s SEL Library

  (1) Dealing with Disappointment: Helping Kids Cope When Things Don’t Go Their Way; by Elizabeth Crary: As we all know quite well, things do not always go our way, no matter if we are 2, 6, 16, 36, or any other age. Teaching our children the skills for handling the variety of daily disappointments they face  – those considered small and those perceived as major – is a key part of positive parenting. Elizabeth Crary offers tips and techniques we as parents need to help children cope appropriately and calmly, including guidance on keeping our cool when our children begins to lose theirs.  Six categories of self-calming strategies are reviewed in detail along with realistic problem-solving tactics useful for elementary school-aged children and beyond.  (Parenting Press Inc.)

(2) Cliques, Phonies, and Other BALONEY; by Trevor Romain.. This cleverly-written book discusses the art of making true friends who like the “real you.” Readers will come away with fresh ideas on how to maintain positive friendships, tips for dealing with cliques, and a clearer understanding of the notion of popularity. A great resource for Pritchett students and parents to review together although it is written in kid-friendly language appropriate for our 3^rd and 4^th graders to read independently.  (Free Spirit Publishing)

 Low Cost Internet Provided by Comcast to Families in Need

Comcast is dedicated to bringing the power of the Internet to students and families across the country.  To accomplish this goal, Comcast created Internet Essentials, a program to offer home Internet service for only $9.95 per month.

How to qualify: To qualify for $9.95 a month Internet service and a low-cost computer, your household must meet all these criteria:

* Be located where Comcast offers Internet service

* Have at least one child receiving free school lunches through the National School Lunch Program

* Have not subscribed to Comcast Internet service within the last 90 days

* Not have an overdue Comcast bill or unreturned equipment

How to apply:

* Call 1-855-8-INTERNET (1-855-846-8376) to request an application.

* An application will be mailed to you. Complete and return it, along with lunch program documents from your child’s school district.  You will be notified by mail about the status of your application. Allow 7-10 days for a response.

How to get connected: Once you are approved, you will receive a welcome package with everything you need to set up your Internet service and receive free Internet training. If you choose to purchase a low-cost computer, your

welcome package will provide details.

Comcast’s website about the program:

In English: www.internetessentials.com

In Spanish: www.internetbasico.com

Upcoming Events in the Community: Make a Difference Day 2011 at Pritchett School

If you have not already done so, please mark your calendars for Saturday October 22, 2011, from 10:00 am – 2:00 pm.  Pritchett students, families and staff as well as others in our community will be taking part in Make a Difference Day, an inspiring day of service to support the children and young adults residing at Little Angels, a privately funded residential facility in Elgin, IL for people with multiple disabilities and complex medical needs. Pritchett has been involved with Make a Difference Day for more than a dozen years; this will be our 6^th consecutive year supporting the Little Angels organization. Make a Difference Day participants will be encouraged to rotate among several craft project stations where they’ll create useful decorative items such as knotted fleece pillows and colorful foam door hangers, to be donated to the residents of Little Angels.  The Make a Difference Day festivities will also include a used book/DVD sale, a bake sale, and the very-popular game raffle, all beneficial fundraising components of the day.  In addition, lunch will be available for purchase and we will be collecting donations of personal care items for our friends at Little Angels.  If you are interested in volunteering or if you have any questions about Make a Difference Day, please contact me. I am a proud co-chair of this annual event and would be happy to share more details with you.  Volunteer opportunities are available from 9:30 am – 2:30 pm on Sat. Oct. 22. If you know of Jr. High/High School students in need of community service hours or otherwise interested in helping, please have them contact me as well.

Please contact me with any questions or concerns related to your child’s social-emotional functioning or related to the content of the School Social Worker’s Scoop. I can be reached at (847) 353 5723 or fgoldwin@d102.org. From apple picking to football games, I hope you all enjoy the many fun aspects of Fall.

SCHOOL SOCIAL WORKER’S SCOOP,Greetings from Mrs. Goldwin,

September 2011

Back to School – Back to Fun!Assuming the first two weeks of the school year are directly correlated with the direction we are headed for the remaining 40+ weeks of the 2011-2012 school year, Pritchett School is on its way to another amazing year!  As the school social worker, I’ve already enjoyed the opportunity to chat with many Pritchett students about the great adventures they experienced during the summer months.  I have also had fun getting acquainted with many of our kindergarteners and others in 1^st – 4^th grade who are new to the Pritchett School community.   To all

of our parents who are new to the Pritchett community, welcome!

As the Pritchett School Social Worker, I work with children, parents, and teachers in numerous capacities. I describe my primary focus as helping students maintain a positive degree of social-emotional functioning in the school setting so they can take full advantage of the learning opportunities provided. When “something” is impacting a student’s capacity to effectively regulate his or her emotions or to demonstrate pro-social skills around classmates and others in the school setting, I strive to team with teachers and parents to help that child enhance his or her coping skills, self-confidence, problem-solving skills, and adaptive behavior skills so he or she can fully focus on his or her role as a student.

As many of you know, I regularly communicate with teachers as needs arise related to students’ social and emotional functioning in the classroom setting, and I encourage parents to contact me with questions or concerns as well.  I have a wealth of resources on topics ranging from anxiety, anger management, and dealing with defiant behavior to helping children with homework, building self-esteem, and coping with loss of a loved one, as well as many more topics and challenges common among elementary school aged children.  In addition to contacting me directly, parents can at any time browse the collection of books, DVDs, videos, games, and pamphlets that make up Pritchett’s Social Emotional Learning (SEL) Parent Library.  The SEL Library is housed directly outside my office, along with a binder to make note of the materials you selected to borrow.

In addition to welcoming many new students to Pritchett this year, I would like to officially welcome Ms. Jessie Kurtz, Pritchett School Social Work Intern, to the Pritchett School staff for the 2011-2012 school year.  Ms. Kurtz is currently in her second year of graduate school at Loyola University where she is pursuing a Masters in Social Work. Ms. Kurtz, who received her Bachelors of Arts degree from Indiana University in 2010, will be at Pritchett School working with me as well as Ms. Laura Greco (Early Childhood Social Worker) for the duration of the 2011-2012 school year on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.  Among her various responsibilities, Ms. Kurtz and I will be co-leading a handful of social skills groups together; she also will be taking on her own caseload of students and will be supporting some teachers as they implement the Lion’s Quest Social Emotional Learning (SEL) curriculum.  The parents of those students with whom Ms. Kurtz will be working individually or in a small group will be contacted in the upcoming weeks.

I look forward to seeing you in the days, weeks, and months ahead. I can be reached directly at 847-353-5723 or via email at fgoldwin@d102.org.  Here’s to a wonderful new year!

My Bucket is Overflowing!

By now, through discussions with your children or review of the self-reflection forms many of the classes completed, I hope you have heard a thing or two about the wonderful “bucket filling” assemblies that took place at Pritchett on the morning of Monday March 21^st. District 102 had the pleasure of welcoming Carol McCloud, author of Have You Filled a Bucket Today? A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids, and representative from Bucket Fillers, Inc., to Pritchett School and Tripp School, just prior to Spring break. Ms. McCloud, along with two of her colleagues (who also happen to be her sisters!) led two engaging assemblies for Pritchett students, parents, and staff, emphasizing the importance of being a bucket filler. Those of us in the audience quickly learned that a bucket filler is a person who treats others with respect and kindness, helps others in simple ways, and considers the impact of his or her behavior on others while, in turn, building a healthy self-concept, each and every day of their life. Ms. McCloud also discussed how to successfully handle the bucket “dipping” encountered at school and throughout life, such as when someone speaks to us unkindly or when our feelings are hurt in some other way, by using our “lids” to prevent our buckets from being emptied.  Throughout the past month, students and staff have begun to incorporate bucket filling terminology and concepts into their daily routines and conversations. A special thanks to Dr. Moreland for suggesting students try to fill someone’s bucket, as he concludes morning announcements each day, as well as to our teachers who have a smiling silver bucket on display in their rooms as a reminder to students. It has been quite heartwarming to observe the impact the bucket filling concept has already had on individual students’ behavior/conversations and on our school climate as a whole.

Ms. McCloud, affectionately referred to as the “Bucket Lady”, has motivated hundreds of audiences of all ages through professional development sessions, school assemblies, and parent workshops, since publishing her first book in 2006. Her energetic style and creative storytelling ability is directly in line with her goal — to inspire those she meets to choose to be a bucket-filler in their daily lives.

Carol McCloud is also the author of Fill a Bucket: A Guide to Daily Happiness for Young Children and Growing Up with a Bucket Full of Happiness: Three Rules for a Happier Life. Fill a Bucket starts with the joyful day a baby is born. As noted on www.bucketfillers101.org, “Everyone is so happy to see this tiny baby yet no one sees the most important part – the invisible bucket that holds all the love he receives.” As the babies depicted in the story grow throughout childhood, they learn to also fill buckets by “helping, sharing, listening, and using good manners.” Growing Up conveys a more mature message, teaching tweens/preteens a few core rules for keeping their buckets filled and feeling good about themselves while also acknowledging the potentially harsh and negative impacts of bullying. The book describes the intrinsic benefits of kindness, the notion that making good choices and thinking about others fills one’s own bucket, and the importance of always being responsible for one’s own words and actions. Please visit www.bucketfillers101.com or talk to your Pritchett Panther to learn more!

Let’s All Ask Ourselves: “Why Tease?!”

I was very excited to hear about an activity in which our 1^st Grade Daisy Troop took part recently. Dedicated parents /volunteer troop leaders, Sandi Ring and Kolleen Cherry, facilitated a lesson about the negative impacts of bullying and teasing, through the Girl Scouts program, Why Tease?!. Following the lesson, the 1^st grade girls created and decorated posters depicting reasons why teasing isn’t cool and how we should treat one another instead, for each 1st Grade class. I had the pleasure of observing two of our Daisies as they proudly presented a poster to their teacher and classmates. Way to go, girls!

As this is the final Pritchett Times for the 2010-2011 school year, please accept my best wishes for a fabulous final 5 weeks of school and an even better summer!  As always, feel free to contact me with any questions or concerns related to your child’s social-emotional development.  I can be reached at (847) 353 5723 or fgoldwin@d102.org. Also, please consider reading the May Tripp Times for helpful suggestions about keeping your child socially active during the summer months, from Tripp Social Worker, Kjersten Jennings.

A Taste of Pritchett’s SEL Library

(1) Our Family Meeting Book: Fun and Easy Ways to Manage Time, Build Communication, and Share Responsibility; by Elaine Hightower & Betsy Riley:  Finding time to sit down as a family and talk about the on-goings of each family members’ life is not the “norm” for many families. Given the various extra-curricular activities, music lessons, sport team practices and events, homework, full-time work schedules, it’s hard enough to coordinate a time for all members to eat dinner together!  In this easy-to-use guide, the authors provide several tips and strategies surrounding the concept of weekly family meetings which ultimately build deeper family communication, stronger family bonds, positive self-esteem, and a greater sense of responsibility by all members of the family – including the kids and adults! (Free Spirit Publishing)

(2) How to Help Your Child With Homework: The Complete Guide to Encouraging Good Study Habits and Ending the Homework Wars; by Jeanne Shay Schumm, Ph.D. As a parent of a child in elementary school, you very likely already play the role of “homework helper,” one that can be both frustrating and confusing.  Even with tips from your child’s classroom teacher and regular communication about homework expectations, it’s a difficult role to tackle.  This book outlines techniques and advise for creating a homework plan, setting up a home study area, persevering alongside your child through any challenges that arise, promoting independence and responsibility, and, in turn, instilling a love of learning in your children.  Ideas are appropriate for parents of children ages 6-13. (Free Spirit Publishing)

Upcoming Events in the Community

There will be a free screening of Race to Nowhere, described as “the dark side of America’s Achievement Culture,” at Stevenson High School on Thursday April 7.  The film’s website includes the following details “Featuring the heartbreaking stories of young people across the country who have been pushed to the brink, educators who are burned out and worried that students aren’t developing the skills they need, and parents who are trying to do what’s best for their kids, Race to Nowhere points to the silent epidemic in our schools: cheating has become commonplace, students have become disengaged, stress-related illness, depression and burnout are rampant, and young people arrive at college and the workplace unprepared and uninspired.

Race to Nowhere is a call to mobilize families, educators, and policy makers to challenge current assumptions on how to best prepare the youth of America to become healthy, bright, contributing and leading citizens. In a grassroots sensation already feeding a groundswell for change, hundreds of theaters, schools and organizations nationwide are hosting community screenings during a six month campaign to screen the film nationwide. Tens of thousands of people are coming together, using the film as the centerpiece for raising awareness, radically changing the national dialogue on education and galvanizing change.”

If you are interested in attending, tickets are available at http://rtnstevensonhs.eventbrite.com/. Please note this is the same night as the Pritchett Reading Night, another very important school-wide event.  Hopefully, some Pritchett parents will still be able to attend the free screening.  I have already ordered my ticket and hope to see some of you there!

Exciting Update!

The October edition of the Pritchett Times’ School Social Worker’s Scoop included a summary of the key learning points from the book “Have you Filled a Bucket Today?” This adorable book emphasizes the importance of teaching children about compassion, appreciation, and respect as well as awareness of how our actions impact others. I am happy to let you know that later in March, the students at Pritchett School will take part in an engaging and fun assembly that reinforces the core concepts from the book. The assembly will take place the morning of Monday March 21, and will be led by experienced members of the “Bucket Fillers” team.  Further details, including information about ordering your own copy of the book, will be shared with all families later in March.  Parents are welcome to attend this assembly! If you are interested, please email or call me prior to Friday March 18.

As always, please contact me with any questions or concerns related to your child’s social-emotional functioning or related to the content of the School Social Worker’s Scoop. I can be reached at (847) 353 5723 or fgoldwin@d102.org

SCHOOL SOCIAL WORKER’S SCOOP

Greetings from Mrs. Goldwin

February 2011

Turning Empathy into Action

Merriam Webster defines empathy as, “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner.” It sounds much more complex then it actually is! As with many other skills associated with healthy emotional functioning and positive social interactions, I believe the notion of empathy is best taught to children in a very natural manner, through direct modeling.  As parents and teachers, we regularly convey empathy by listening attentively as a child verbalizes his concerns or by tuning into his body language or facial expressions conveying distress or despair. When your child appears sad or worried, as she describes the situation that triggered these feelings or even as she cries on your shoulder without speaking, you naturally nod your head, rub her back, possibly put into words what you suspect she is feeling, and give her a hug. Even if we can’t solve a youngster’s problem or promise to make everything “all better”, the calm and reassuring way in which we listen and respond to the children in our lives is a solid example of genuine empathy.

Eventually, even without a direct lesson about the meaning of the word, many children are able to naturally do their part to “pay it forward,” offering an empathic response by cheering up a sad friend during recess, cuddling with a younger sibling who misses mom and dad while there’s a babysitter staying with them, or by smiling at the new neighbor who is standing alone at the bus stop.  Even if your feel your child is not one to naturally reach out towards others in cases like these, a short discussion about “putting yourself in someone else’s shoes” is a great way to review the notion of empathy.  Either in the moment or when you have time alone to reflect on a missed opportunity to respond in an empathic manner, simply ask your child, “How do you think it might feel if…..”  or “What do you think it felt like when .….” A printable handout from KidsHealth.org at http://KidsHealth.org/classroom/prekto2/personal/growing/empathy_handout2.pdf provides further suggestions to help children reflect on how different situations would make them feel, a direct link to building their ability to empathize with others.

While we hope that our children will pick up on models of empathic responses they observe or through our simple put-yourself-in-someone-else’s-shoes-lessons, more directed instruction seems to be warranted to increase the extent of the empathic responses, when children face the experience of being a bystander to instances of bullying. The ability to recognize how another child might be feeling when being picked-on by someone else and to then speak up in an assertive yet calm manner to help that child, instead of merely observing or walking away, is not easy.  The initial feeling one might have upon seeing a peer (the victim) being picked on by an intimidating and potentially stronger person (the bully) is likely one of worry, fear, or sadness.  When a bystander begins to experience such feelings, the notion of empathy begins. However, such feelings of empathy are not enough. By arming children with skills necessary to be appropriately assertive when witnessing acts of bullying, they will evolve from being a silent empathic bystander to being an alert, proactive and effective empathic bystander. Author and school counselor Sandy Ragona, MSEd, teaches the following five steps to help children turn empathy into action in her clever and fun to read storybook, Becoming Someone’s Hero: A Book for the Bystanders of Bullying:

(1)   Feel something is wrong and don’t ignore that feeling!

(2)  Get a group of peers together – or at least one other peer to help you feel empowered to do something in response to seeing someone being bullied.

(3)  Calmly yet firmly tell the bully to stop. Remember not to sound like a bully yourself!

(4)  Reassure the victim and invite him to join you and your friends to play.

(5)  Report the situation to an adult.

While the district’s Social-Emotional Learning curriculum includes lessons on working through difficult peer situations and making healthy choices as a precursor for avoiding instances of bullying, and there are dozens of child-friendly books addressing bullying, bystanders, friendships, and empathy, Becoming Someone’s Hero is a new personal favorite among the mix. I look forward to sharing it many of the students at Pritchett in the near future.  In the mean time, if you would like to borrow my copy of this book or if you’d like suggestions about other books on the topics of bullying and bystanders, feel free to email me at fgoldwin@d102.org . 

Pritchett’s Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) Library continues to need visitors! Please come and browse through some of the fabulous resources in Pritchett’s SEL Library. The bookshelves outside my office are equipped with information on a variety of social and emotional issues impacting elementary school children and their families. There are dozens of books, videos, and games available for Pritchett families to borrow. I would be happy to send something home in your child’s backpack, if there is a particular resource you would like to borrow.

Please contact me with any questions or concerns related to your child’s social-emotional functioning or related to the content of the School Social Worker’s Scoop. I can be reached at (847) 353 5723 or fgoldwin@d102.org